Isn't it always so difficult to figure out what to say to someone you've just walked up to during the networking portion of an event? I find it brings back all my old "first day at a new school" fears, and I'm forced to rely on my "playing it cool" skills. But, as I'm fully aware, playing it cool does not aid in making those great connections that are the entire reason for going to a networking event in the first place.

But, last night at a networking event, I came up with some new phrases on the fly that ended up breaking the ice nicely. I want to share them with you.

The first...

"Hello, do you mind if I ask you some questions?"

I started with this line when I saw one of the panelists that had spoken earlier in the event standing alone at the after party. It was a great way to get straight to the point in a friendly way. With this phrase and a smile, you are doing one of the key things for any successful social interactions, you are flattering the person. You are saying that you find their knowledge and advice valuable, and that is a very nice thing to say!

The second...

"Hello, would you like to network with me?"

This line got a great reaction because it showed my sense of humor, and that little bit of humor relaxed the formality of the awkward networking event. If the other person also has a sense of humor, than you have just had a good laugh and that's a great way to start a conversation.

Conclusion...

Something I've learned over the years is that some conversations are just not meant to be no matter how great your opening line might be.

Many times I've wasted huge portions of an evening trying to make a dead conversation work. I've pulled out all my best stories and tried desperately to ask the other person questions to find SOMETHING we might have in common. On top of that, I've even ignored the old "glance away to look for a better conversation" move that I find despicable and total party faux pas in an effort to give the person a chance.

What have I learned from all this effort? When you see the other person is not on your wave length, maybe you sense some snobbiness, or the person is very nice, but you have very little or nothing in common, then exit the conversation gracefully and fairly quickly. You have a limited amount of time and energy and that conversation is clearly not meant to be. 

Another note, even if you made a great connection, don't talk to the person for too long. Get their info for a follow up, and go meet other people. Make the most of all the people in the room!

Happy networking!